It is not my purpose to talk about hair, advertisements, or romance novel covers, although each of these things will play a role in my message.
My purpose, friends, is to introduce to you a man whom I admire.
A man whose glorious locks ripple in the winds formed by the pining sighs of ten thousand lovesick angels.
A man whose glistening oiled pecs refract the light of ultraviolet rainbows and the infrared glow of unanimously beating hearts.
A man whose smile, along with the twinkle in his eye, would bring the cruelest to penance, the mad to enlightenment, and the lost, lonely, and lacking souls populating our world to ultimate spiritual bliss.
A man whose ability to laugh at himself is the most hilarious thing I have ever - pray help me - ever fuckin' seen.
This man, friends, is Fabio Lanzoni.
Holy fuckin' shit.
he'sa genius hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaahjdslff
